I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I had a really great time! I got to hug family I haven't seen in years, I gambled (have y'all heard of LCR? That game is sooooo much fun and you don't have to gamble to play it!), and I ate until I was fat full!
While I am thankful daily I had reason to be extra thankful this season.
E was in the hospital for four days. He has a REALLY bad heart and it decided to act up right before Thanksgiving. Imagine my panic when I get a call from him saying that he is on his way to the hospital to be admitted during the middle of my work day. When I got the call I was immediately frightened.
Wait. Let me back up.
About four years ago, I received the first heart call from E. He had gone to visit a cardiologist for the very first time because he had been experiencing heart palpitations that were not caused by me! He gets to the doctor's office, gets hooked up to several machines to check his heart function and then is immediately ambulanced to the hospital. He called me from the ambulance.
"Meanie I am on my way to the hospital because my heart function is at less than 30% and the cardiologist is very concerned. I don't want you to panic but I think I might need you here. Make sure you stop to get you some snacks before you make it to me."
Two days later, after a second opinion from a doctor who had to be granted rights to the hospital, and MANY tests later, E had to have a defibrillator and a pacemaker installed. We call it his "hardware." E having that surgery never scared me, I never felt anxious about it or anything like that. I just kind of knew he would be OK. This last heart call was very different. I immediately felt the wind knocked out of me.
E was going about his normal routine at work and suddenly felt light-headed, something he had never experienced before. He called his cardiologist and was told to come in immediately. See, any time E calls his cardiologist he finds a way to get him; the doctors are used to seeing his condition in much older men who've lived a life of excess not someone in their early forties who used to lift weights. So he gets in and sure enough they send him immediately to the hospital for admission. His irregular heart beat is going into overdrive while in the doctor's offices and the pacemaker, which is supposed to regulate that, isn't 'activating'. E calls me before he leaves the cardiologist's offices.
"Meanie, I'm on my way to the hospital for admissions. They think my pacemaker has stopped working and there is evidence of a minor heart attack. I might need you here but I need you to grab you some snacks on your way in."
E is always concerned about my eating habits when I am super stressed. He always asks "have you eaten." He is hooked up to machines that are helping his heart along, that are helping him breathe easier and he is concerned about me eating and resting. He takes care of us. According to him that's his most important job.
E is looking at another major surgery but his heart is not strong enough for it. Not having this surgery could be fatal and having it could also be fatal. In his current state, stress, over exertion or over excitement could for real kill him. The doctors are managing the current situation with medication until he is able to take the test that will determine if he needs to have the surgery this month or if it can be pushed to January. Either way he is on bed rest until the determination can be made.
My spirit doesn't have peace and I have been praying for it. E, who always sees a solution, who always looks to the brighter side of things said to me "this situation is beyond my judgment." That broke my heart. The man with the plan does not have a plan, a solution.
