Happy Monday!

Currently...

Enjoying – Making homemade ice creams! I churned a family favorite, Banana Pudding Ice Cream, this week.  Think I’m going to churn Coffee Toffee next week!

Loving – My new boring wall paint color that we are slowly adding to our walls! The entire house was painted in, what we call “puke yellow”, when we purchased. We have been putting off painting the main areas of the house for years.  However, Thanksgiving will be in our house this year so we gotta get rid of the wall color stat!

Feeling – Thankful. I have had a piss poor attitude about some things…a lot of things.  I was driving home one day, doing the whole self-loathing thing when I thought “what’s the lesson”. While I don’t think I have extracted the full lesson because the situation isn't resolved, I am thankful for my blessings nonetheless.  I am focusing on what’s going right and what’s good, doing that has brought me a measure of peace.

Reading – I am trying to read the free e-book called Lime.  I don’t think I’m going to make it through to the end though.  I will give it a couple of more chapters before I decide.

Thinking about – Visiting my hometown so I can visit my grandmother and other family and friends.  I haven’t seen my grandmother in several years so this visit is long overdue.  Plus, It would be a nice little road trip for me and B. I’m thinking during the 4^th of July…we will see!

Listening to – Old School John P Kee…I’ve needed the encouragement.  Sometimes you've got to encourage yourself!

Watching – Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale.

Making me happy – Actively doing more of what I LOVE!

Heart Health

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I wrote this back in April but decided not to post it. Instead I vented on Twitter.  Since writing this, we are one surgery down with one, and a possible third, to go.  I will update soon for those that don't follow me. (Edited 6/26/2014 @ 2:20 cst).

I've spoken about E's health stuff before, not in detail but enough for you to realize it is pretty serious.  I mean, it is some really heavy stuff if I'm keepin it real.  

Do the kids still say "keepin it real"?

*shrug*

The possibility of him dying is really, real. E is not even 45 and he could die from heart disease.  Too much stress could cause a fatal heart attack; over exertion could cause a fatal heart attack; having these next two surgeries, while necessary, could put too much stress on his heart and kill him while he is laid out on the table. Do you even know how stressful that is? 

Like, there is a real possibility of me having to comfort B because her favorite guy is gone.  I am not ready for that.  We are making sure all of his shit is in order "just in case"; wills, insurance papers, military stuff, how he wants his funeral to proceed.  We are planning for his death just in case these surgeries don't take.  We have had these conversations ad nauseum, because the possibility of him dying is really real. Me having to bury him could actually happen before B graduates middle school, before we see her off to college, before he walks her down the aisle, before he bounces grand babies on his "knee of tranquility", before we have grown old together.

Cremation. Cremation is how he wants to be funeralized with only immediate family present. He said, "It would be cool to house my ashes in a gold encrusted pimp cup."  Even with all of this scary health stuff looming he still manages to be goofy and make me laugh and shake my head.

You know what pisses me off the most about this? All of this was preventable! Getting regular check-ups would have prevented all of this.  By the time he finally went to see a cardiologist his heart was barely functioning at twenty percent. Do you hear what I'm saying??  Barely. Functioning. At twenty percent. Blood pressure was sky high and he was rushed to the hospital via ambulance from the doctor's office.  Crazy right?  The doctors legit didn't understand how he was even standing. He was in the hospital for about seven days the first time.

Let me be clear, E is far from lazy. He works hard for our family. He loves and takes care of his momma.  He deals with situations and stress as a black man that I don't always understand. He loves us hard and with everything in him.  Unfortunately, sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Look, I am not here to preach to any of y'all cause y'all grown but hear me out. If taking a 30 minute walk every day could lower your blood pressure couldn't you just make the time no matter what to walk it out? If making a for real attempt to lower your salt intake, eating more green vegetables and less fried foods could make you feel better wouldn't you give it a try?  Have a soda once a day instead of five a day; replace fries with a salad, etc. Little things really do make a huge difference.  Encourage your daddies and uncles and brothers and cousins to get regular check-ups.  Your heart will thank you, your blood pressure will thank you, your loved ones will thank you.  Just take better care of yourselves that's all. The stress from thinking about this, planning for death and the discussion you will have to have with your child is not easy.

So in the meantime while we wait for these surgeries to come to pass, we stay positive for B's sake. She doesn't know the extent of his condition. She's twelve, she doesn't need to know details. She knows that the doctors are trying to make her daddy's heart stronger.  In the meantime, I make sure I say all of the good things I've ever wanted to say to him. We are making sure he and B are making more memories.  We are going to have a photo shoot soon so we can have some real good photos of us too!  We are saying "I love you" more often and spending more time with each other.

Because the possibility of E dying is really real. He's not even 45 and I am not ready to live without him.



 

Browned Butter Sugar Cookies

 

I do not like sugar cookies but I like these sugar cookies.  

Browned butter stays winning over here. I use it every chance I get. I've made for real Cookie Dough Ice Cream (not vanilla ice cream with cookie dough chunks) with browned butter, I've tossed browned butter in pasta with garlic and red pepper flakes and I have, legit, just dipped warm, soft, crusty bread in browned butter with fresh, crushed garlic! This stuff makes me swoon!  I love the flavor browned butter brings to a recipe.

Browned Butter Sugar Cookies

yield: about 2 dozen

What you need:

• 14 tablespoons butter (1 3/4 sticks)
• 1 3/4 cups packed brown sugar
• 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 large egg
• 1 large egg yolk
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

What to do:

• Heat 10 tablespoons butter in a small stainless steel pan over medium heat until melted
• Continue cooking, swirling pan constantly until butter is dark golden brown and has nutty aroma, 3-5 minutes. Be careful not to let it burn
• Remove the skillet from the heat and transfer the browned butter to a large heatproof bowl.
• Stir the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter into the hot butter to melt; set aside until slightly cooled, about 15 minutes
• Preheat oven to 350 degrees
• Line 2 large baking sheets non-stick cooking spray or parchment paper
• In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt,set aside
• Add the brown sugar to the cooled butter and mix until no sugar lumps remain, 1 minute or so
• Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula
• Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla and mix until fully incorporated, about 1-2 minutes
• Add the flour mixture and mix until just combined. Give the dough a final stir with a rubber spatula to ensure that all of the flour has been incorporated
• Form the dough into 1 1/2 inch balls and place them on the e prepared baking sheet about 2 inches apart
• Bake cookies for 8-10 minutes. Cookies will be soft in the middle but will have residual heat that will finish cooking the middles.  Cookies should look set around the edges, with a soft puffy center. Be careful not to overcook!
• Cool for 1-2 minutes on the baking sheets and then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

Happy Monday!

Currently...

Homemade Cracker Jacks

Most people have fond childhood memories eating this boxed treat: sitting on the porch listening to the baseball game with grandpa or catching a fly ball while watching the game with dad.  My childhood memory? The taste of stale depression! I hated the boxed version of this stuff growing up! The prizes were the worse!!  Tattoos that faded if you sweat too much...lol.  Never mind my aunts made fresh caramel corn growing up, so getting sub par, fake caramel corn was a no go!

This version is similar to the original in name only.  This version is fresh and delicious and addictive! Trust me when I say you will want to make a double batch!

Homemade Cracker Jacks
Adapted from: http://thechicsite.com/2013/10/17/homemade-cracker-jack/


What you need:

• 9 cups freshly popped plain popcorn
• 1/4 cup unsalted butter
• 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1/4 cup light corn syrup
• 1 Tbsp molasses
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 Tbsp water
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1/2-1 cup lightly salted peanuts or pecans

What to do:

• Preheat oven to 250 degrees F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside. 
• Place freshly popped popcorn and peanuts in the largest bowl you have. Set aside.
• In a medium heavy bottomed sauce pot, combine butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, molasses, salt, and water. Set over medium heat to melt butter and sugar. 
• Cook sugar mixture until it has come to a boil, stirring to ensure even cooking.
• Remove from heat and add baking soda and vanilla extract, whisking to combine.  
• BE CAREFUL! The caramel will bubble and rise when you add the baking soda.
• Pour warm caramel over popcorn and peanut mixture. 
• Using a large spatula, fold to distribute caramel and ensure each popcorn kernel gets a little sauce.
• Spread caramel popcorn into a thin even layer over prepared baking sheet. If necessary, use more than one baking sheet if popcorn does not fit. 
• Bake for 45 minutes; stirring once after about 15 minutes
• Remove from oven and let popcorn cool slightly. Break up any large clumps that may have formed. 
• Store in an airtight container.

Happy Monday!

Happy Father's Day!

Currently...

Butterscotch, Chocolate Chips, Toffee

Funky combination right? I promise it works!  

I'm working hard to get my cookie weight up and this one will definitely get added to the rotation.  I sprinkled the cookies with sea salt immediately after removing them from the oven to balance out some of the sweetness but that's optional.

Butterscotch Chocolate Chip and Toffee Cookies

Adapted from: http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/butterscotch-toffee-chocolate-chip-cookies/

What you need:

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 cup unsalted room temperature butter
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup butterscotch chips
• 3/4 cup toffee bits
• Sea Salt, for sprinkling on cookies, optional

What to do:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly spray a large baking sheet with non-stick spray. Set aside.
• In a large bowl, whisk together flour, salt, baking soda, and baking powder. Set aside.
• In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream butter and sugars together until light and creamy, about 7 minutes.
• Add the eggs and vanilla extract. Beat for an additional 2 minutes.
• Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Mix until flour is just combined. 
• Stir in the chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, and toffee bits.
• Drop about 2 tablespoons of dough onto prepared baking sheet, placing the cookies 2-inches apart. Bake for 12 minutes or until the edges are slightly golden brown. 
• Remove from oven and sprinkle with sea salt if using.
• Allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheet for a couple of minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

*Note: You will get about 3 dozen cookies out of this batch of dough.  I froze the baked and cooled cookies for a week.  Just set the cookies out and allow them to come to room temperature before eating...though they were delicious frozen.

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday!

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