Be Encouraged

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Be Encouraged

Be Encouraged

I got a new job!

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I began a new adventure last month.  I got a new job!  I am very excited about the opportunities that this new position and company will provide me.  I went from being a team of one, performing 95% of the functions to having a team of people to work with.  My department is not just a team on paper, they legit work as a team; the fact that they/we all like each other is a huge, refreshing bonus!  My pay increased to do FAR less work than I was previously. (I will discuss my issue with this later)

My commute!! Let me tell you, this probably makes me the MOST happiest.  My commute has been cut by more than half!  I travel against the grain of rush hour traffic, I don’t have to get on 10 or 45 and there’s minimal traffic returning home because I leave work at 3:30!!  For those that know about traffic on I-10 and I-45, my former route, know that not having to get on either of those freeways at any hour is a happy hour!  My quality of life has increased significantly because of this.  The first week or so of getting home between 4 and 4:15, I didn't know what to do with myself! LOL Getting home early enough to do things other than, immediately, starting the dinner|homework|bedtime routine, was foreign to me.  I have gotten so much of my time back.  E and B have noticed that I am less stressed and “not nearly as pissy” and it has only been about a month.  It is amazing what a couple of extra hours in your day can do! 

The only hiccup, which really isn't a hiccup I guess, is that since there is a team doing what I used to do solo, I was concerned about losing the skills that I’d honed for over seven years.  I discussed this with someone I trust.  She told me I was looking at the situation ALL wrong.  She asked me how long had I been putting off completing my educational pursuits because of my workload (in addition to E’s medical stuff)?  She asked how long would it actually take for me to complete the hardest leg of my goals?  She also pointed out that the college is RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from my current employer.  She informed me that this is my “break”.  The break I have been waiting for to complete the last few classes to be eligible to sit for the CPA exam, to study to get some career specific certifications and to begin navigating a couple of Master’s degrees; the break where E is healthy; the break where I don’t feel overworked and stressed.

She’s right and I am going to take FULL advantage of this opportunity! 

Be Encouraged

Now Churning - Nutmeg Ice Cream

I am 0 for 2 in my fall ice cream flavors.  E and B have disliked them both. 

The ginger ice cream was "too gingery" and this one was "too nutmegy"...dude, that's not even a word! LOL.

While I had high hopes for these fall flavors, I greatly appreciate E and B giving me honest feedback on the new foods or recipes I introduce them to. 

I have two, maybe three, more fall flavors I want to try before I go back to my traditional ice cream creations: Apple Pie, an updated version of my S'Mores recipe using a marshmallow ice cream base and Sweet Potato.  Cross your fingers...

"Fat-minded"

The women I follow on FB are hilarious.  I mean if I need a middle of the day pick me, I can log on and get a good belly roll laugh!  Last week there was a post on Magic Johnson’s son who'd recently had weight loss surgery. One of the ladies said something like, if he remains “fat-minded” the surgery will be a waste.  After I had a sufficient laugh off of the entire thread, Hills comment about being “fat-minded” lingered.

Since March 2014, I have lost nearly fifty pounds. Most of that weight loss came from stress, when the stress was reduced I decided to try to, at least, maintain the loss.  I have dropped several dress sizes, purged my closet twice (such that I am wearing the same combination of outfits every week) and am learning to fall in love with my body all while remaining fat-minded.

When I look in the mirror I still see size 18/20 TBruce.  The TBruce who hid behind over sized clothes, who wasn’t always mindful of her appearance, who still has forty more pounds to lose.  I don’t see the “slim”, “skinny” person y’all seem to see.  I pick my body apart every time I look in the mirror: my butt needs to be firmer, my thighs are too saggy, my arms need toning, my eyes look extra baggy, do I look bobble-headish?

Also, you would think shopping would be way more fun, but it is not.  I am used to going to [insert any plus size stores name] and getting what I needed.  Even bra shopping has become cumbersome.  I automatically gravitate to what was once comfortable to me.  I have been going to my favorite thrift stores for a few staple pieces but I still have not found a go to store for new clothes yet. I am not a 2XL or even an XL any longer.  However, my mind hasn't caught up with my body yet. Plus, I am not stylish! Pinterest has been a boon for me putting outfits together.  

images pulled from Pinterest

I am also aware that I have become VERY mindful of what I eat now, almost to the point of being neurotic.  I am acutely aware of the old habits that led to my weight gain and I am afraid to fall back into those habits.  The only thing that is keeping me from going full on calorie counting Nzai is that I don’t want B to become obsessed with her body image or weight or food or anything.  She watches and learns from me. I want her to see that I am doing things the right way and not in an obsessive way, if that makes sense.

During the next six months I am going to focus on the final forty that I want to lose.  I am going to employ the services of a trainer to tone me up.  I am also going to be consciously less obsessive about food.  I don’t want food to control me this way (obsessive calorie counting) the way it controlled me the opposite way (anxiety/boredom eating).